Sunday, January 10, 2010
Oh my God we are going to crash!
Okay, maybe that's a bit melodramatic but tell me you haven’t had that thought cross your mind 30,000 feet above the ground?
Right now I am sitting on a plane headed south for Florida.
This time it's not to run away from myself and my feelings of grief but to celebrate my 19th wedding anniversary with Marc and that is a good thing.
By now you know I don't believe in coincidences so the universe sat me next to a lovely woman who lost her husband of 25 years just 3 months ago.
Normally when I fly, I politely say, "Hello" to my 2 hour neighbor, listen to my iPod and work on my laptop while Marc watches the news. However, this time I met a friend. Why was this time different? I don't know but I am sure John (her husband) and Jena worked that out in heaven.
Karen told me about his struggle with leukemia, his many hospital stays and how her days now seem empty and without purpose. Boy, I get that. We exchanged smiles of memories and tears of grief.
It's amazing who God puts in your life at particular times, isn't it? Somehow He just knows who needs a shoulder, an understanding ear and a new package of tissues.
As I sit here eating my bag of sweet potato chips, I remember how fearful I used to be of flying. Marc was way worse. His hands would be all sweaty and regardless of the time, he’d have a cocktail or two during the flight. A few years ago, Marc would have actually preferred to be flying the plane instead of sitting here in 4B; naively believing he could control all aspects his life, his outcome, and his fate.
Control is something we all seek out of fear. Fear of what we can’t control. Fear…well,…Jena took all our fear with her when she left. Just like the Serenity Prayer, we have learned to know the difference between what we can control and what we have to let go. I now trust in God to get me to my destination, and I trust the captain to fly us to where we want to go.
Marc and I have learned to take responsibility of what we can control like our marriage, our careers and our little romantic getaway weekends. The stuff we can't, like losing Jena, we have learned to leave to God, the universe or whatever it is that seems to be in control of it all.
So this flight is a win-win.
We win and land in Orlando, chillin poolside sippin something tropical or we win and get to meet God face to face knowing Jena is sitting right beside Him. I really don’t see a downside.
I trust the pilot and I trust God to get me where I need to be.
I bought the ticket to Florida and I expect to get to where I am going.
Life is good and no matter how you look at it, it's a win-win.
Do you know where you are going?